Well, I'm back. I've been really bad lately about blogging, I know. I think it's because there has been so much going on in my head that I wasn't ready to face it all yet. I think I'm ready now. Be prepared. This is going to be a long post. So go get your favorite snack and beverage, a good blanket, and some ear plugs to block out your children and enjoy the read.
To update you in a nutshell, Sara is almost walking (yikes! terrifying!), I have decided to keep Madison home another year before starting her in Pre-K (even though my life would be much easier if I let her go), Julia has learned to read, Lauren is becoming her own person, Steve is worried about getting laid off (his brother and boss were laid off yesterday), Steve's sister is getting married (I'm a bridesmaid, ALL my girls are flower girls, and Steve is a groomsmen. Can we say prohibitively expensive?), and I am struggling with who I have become over the years. So, besides that being the longest run-on sentence in the history of the written language, that's what's been in my head. It sometimes makes it a little difficult to breathe when my thoughts get that clogged. For the purpose of this post though we'll just stick with the topic of my children. Posts about the other topics mentioned will follow shortly.
Sara walking is NOT what I need right now. I know it's a great milestone for her and all, but honestly it would be nice if she could just stay like she is a little longer. When Lauren first learned to walk I was thrilled. It was almost a competition with strangers kids. "Does your child walk yet?" "No?" "Mine does." With Julia a little less so. With Madison even less. (I swear she has a monkey gene in her somwhere. They really should study her DNA.) Now, with Sara, I'm actually not looking forward to it. Walking means so much more to me now than when I started having children. It means more messes for me to clean up, more chasing after a toddler, more pulling her off of things she climbs that she shouldn't, basically just "more." I'm not really sure I can handle "more" right now.
You have to understand, that in my house I literally do everything except provide a paycheck and a few "manly" chores that all pertain to "outside things" and vehicles. My hubby commutes anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours every day. He leaves the house around 5:30 every morning and returns around 6 every evening. That leaves me to take care of the day to day. I pay the bills, manage the budget, discipline children, clean house, do laundry, grocery shop, cook (from scratch, not from a box), take the children to their various activities, help with homework, help with other people's children, I'm Room Mother, volunteer at school, and coach the Jr. Pee Wee cheerleading squad. Add in the fact that I need to lose about 90 pounds, which requires finding the time to exercise and actually paying attention to what I put in my mouth, a walking one year old, possibly having no income, and a wedding and you start to feel as if the walls are closing in.
Now, I know all that sounds like I'm just whining and being an Eyeore, but just give me a minute. That was the venting part. Now just read on for the upside.
The upside is, I LOVE doing everything I mentioned. Crazy as that may sound. Well, except maybe the losing weight part. Which would explain how I gained it all in the first place. If I were like most women I would have done something after I gained the first ten pounds. But, as with everything else, I have ignored it until I can ignore it no longer.
I love baking cupcakes and planning parties for my children and their classmates. I loved learning all about cheerleading this past year and then teaching it to a group of overly energetic girls and dealing with their overly concerned parents. I watched myself take a group of girls who couldn't tell their left from their right and teach them how to be a team and work together. I love that they became so excited and worked so hard that they earned second place in their competition. I have loved watching Julia learn to read and discovering that she's really good at math. She definitely gets that from her dad. I love that Lauren has been discovering all sorts of things about herself, her friendships, and who she wants to become. I think she's pretty amazing and when I look at her I can't believe she's my daughter sometimes. I love seeing the world through Madison's eyes. Every day is an adventure for her. She's like a miniature Columbus.
If I had to guess what each of my children would be when they grow up I would have to say that Lauren will be a lawyer because she is so bright, her strengths are in language arts and reasoning, she's creative, and always has to have the last word in an argument. The wall always loses with her. Julia will be a CEO of a major company. She is the most stubborn person you have ever met and her math skills at this point amaze me. Once she sets her mind to something there is no stopping her. She is ferocious. Madison will be a pilot or professional rock climber. I say this because she loves to push the limit, she is not afraid of heights, or most anything else for that matter, and she always finds a way to get to whatever it is that she wants. Sara. My darling Sara will be a psychiatrist. Mainly because she will have grown up the youngest in this insane family of ours and will be uniquely qualified in the area of psychology, but also because she is the most patient, understanding, and observant child I've ever known. Whatever my children become I know that they will always be strong, independent, confident women. And that is really all a mother can ask for isn't it?
That concludes this epic post. I will write more about the ditherings in my head tomorrow.
Simplifying...
15 years ago
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