Chaotic

Well, I'm back. I've been really bad lately about blogging, I know. I think it's because there has been so much going on in my head that I wasn't ready to face it all yet. I think I'm ready now. Be prepared. This is going to be a long post. So go get your favorite snack and beverage, a good blanket, and some ear plugs to block out your children and enjoy the read.

To update you in a nutshell, Sara is almost walking (yikes! terrifying!), I have decided to keep Madison home another year before starting her in Pre-K (even though my life would be much easier if I let her go), Julia has learned to read, Lauren is becoming her own person, Steve is worried about getting laid off (his brother and boss were laid off yesterday), Steve's sister is getting married (I'm a bridesmaid, ALL my girls are flower girls, and Steve is a groomsmen. Can we say prohibitively expensive?), and I am struggling with who I have become over the years. So, besides that being the longest run-on sentence in the history of the written language, that's what's been in my head. It sometimes makes it a little difficult to breathe when my thoughts get that clogged. For the purpose of this post though we'll just stick with the topic of my children. Posts about the other topics mentioned will follow shortly.

Sara walking is NOT what I need right now. I know it's a great milestone for her and all, but honestly it would be nice if she could just stay like she is a little longer. When Lauren first learned to walk I was thrilled. It was almost a competition with strangers kids. "Does your child walk yet?" "No?" "Mine does." With Julia a little less so. With Madison even less. (I swear she has a monkey gene in her somwhere. They really should study her DNA.) Now, with Sara, I'm actually not looking forward to it. Walking means so much more to me now than when I started having children. It means more messes for me to clean up, more chasing after a toddler, more pulling her off of things she climbs that she shouldn't, basically just "more." I'm not really sure I can handle "more" right now.

You have to understand, that in my house I literally do everything except provide a paycheck and a few "manly" chores that all pertain to "outside things" and vehicles. My hubby commutes anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours every day. He leaves the house around 5:30 every morning and returns around 6 every evening. That leaves me to take care of the day to day. I pay the bills, manage the budget, discipline children, clean house, do laundry, grocery shop, cook (from scratch, not from a box), take the children to their various activities, help with homework, help with other people's children, I'm Room Mother, volunteer at school, and coach the Jr. Pee Wee cheerleading squad. Add in the fact that I need to lose about 90 pounds, which requires finding the time to exercise and actually paying attention to what I put in my mouth, a walking one year old, possibly having no income, and a wedding and you start to feel as if the walls are closing in.

Now, I know all that sounds like I'm just whining and being an Eyeore, but just give me a minute. That was the venting part. Now just read on for the upside.

The upside is, I LOVE doing everything I mentioned. Crazy as that may sound. Well, except maybe the losing weight part. Which would explain how I gained it all in the first place. If I were like most women I would have done something after I gained the first ten pounds. But, as with everything else, I have ignored it until I can ignore it no longer.

I love baking cupcakes and planning parties for my children and their classmates. I loved learning all about cheerleading this past year and then teaching it to a group of overly energetic girls and dealing with their overly concerned parents. I watched myself take a group of girls who couldn't tell their left from their right and teach them how to be a team and work together. I love that they became so excited and worked so hard that they earned second place in their competition. I have loved watching Julia learn to read and discovering that she's really good at math. She definitely gets that from her dad. I love that Lauren has been discovering all sorts of things about herself, her friendships, and who she wants to become. I think she's pretty amazing and when I look at her I can't believe she's my daughter sometimes. I love seeing the world through Madison's eyes. Every day is an adventure for her. She's like a miniature Columbus.

If I had to guess what each of my children would be when they grow up I would have to say that Lauren will be a lawyer because she is so bright, her strengths are in language arts and reasoning, she's creative, and always has to have the last word in an argument. The wall always loses with her. Julia will be a CEO of a major company. She is the most stubborn person you have ever met and her math skills at this point amaze me. Once she sets her mind to something there is no stopping her. She is ferocious. Madison will be a pilot or professional rock climber. I say this because she loves to push the limit, she is not afraid of heights, or most anything else for that matter, and she always finds a way to get to whatever it is that she wants. Sara. My darling Sara will be a psychiatrist. Mainly because she will have grown up the youngest in this insane family of ours and will be uniquely qualified in the area of psychology, but also because she is the most patient, understanding, and observant child I've ever known. Whatever my children become I know that they will always be strong, independent, confident women. And that is really all a mother can ask for isn't it?

That concludes this epic post. I will write more about the ditherings in my head tomorrow.

URGENT!!!!!!! PRAYERS NEEDED!!!!

I know I haven't blogged in awhile and this blog has absolutely nothing to do with me but I need everyone who reads this to please pray as hard and as loudly as you can. A fellow cheerleading coach, whom I don't know well but think the world of, has just found out that her husband has a malignant, stage 2 brain tumor. They found out when he was rushed to the hospital in Gainesville after having a seizure on a jobsite. He has two precious, young daughters. For those of you that know me, you know that this type of brain tumor is what my dad died from. His was stage 4 when they found out about it. Please pray that at stage 2 they have caught it early enough to completely erradicate it with the proper treatment. Pray that their family will be able to cope with this shocking and life altering change in their lives without feeling that they have fallen into a black hole. I urge you to please send up a prayer for them every time they come to your mind whether your the praying kind or not. I have seen God work miracles in my lifetime. My dad was one of them. He lived 5 years past his operation. They gave him 6mo. to 2 years. They had no medical explanation for it. The man I am asking you to pray for is one that I barely know but in watching him coach football this past season I greatly admire. He was the one coach that always had the children's best interest at heart, never yelled, only encouraged and you could tell he loved his family with all his heart. His wife is the same type of person. They deserve a happy ending. Please help give them one.

Sara

Well. she's officially mobile. She can crawl faster than the rest of us can walk. She is pulling herself up to standing and cruises around the room holding on to things. I'm sure in a couple of weeks she will let the last of her fear go and begin standing on her own and not too much after that begin walking. How time flies. She's only ten months and miles ahead of the other three at this age. What ever am I going to do? For those of you that believe in "babyproofing" let me just say, THERE"S NO SUCH THING!!!I have tried every form and fashion and nothing has ever kept my children from getting to womething they really want. Plug covers I have to pry out with a knife slide out for them like they were greased with butter. Cabinet locks. My children quickly learned if you pull hard enough it will open. Crayons and markers. They somehow get to them even when under lock and key. I think this time I will just forget all of that and try to stay one step ahead of her. I just keep reminding myself that all of these traits that annoy me now are going to be wonderful assets when they are out in the world. So here's to Sara running around the house, and me, in about a month. (That's before her 1st birthday people). Mommy needs a margarita.

The Affair Worsens

My darling husband can now play WOW for 48 hrs. straight on a weekend.
Pathetic I know. But we're making it work. I now have a wireless connection so I can use my laptop in the living room. For Facebook, of course. I just can't seem to bring myself to take it away from him since it seems to be making him a happier person. He's not as frustrated at work, he's in a better mood when we do things together, and he doesn't hassle me at all any more when I "spend money." I'm sure it's because of the guilt he feels for only leaving the computer to use the bathroom every 6 hrs. on weekends, but hey, who am I to complain. I'm sure it won't last forever, but at least I can let him enjoy it now.

Facebook

Yes. I am addicted. Yoville. Pet Society. Lil' Green Patch. Lil' Blue Cove. Willy's Sweet Shop. Pathwords. And so many more. I am constantly heard sayin, "In a minute sweetie, mommy's on Facebook." It's so much fun and I get to keep in touch with people I haven't seen or talked to in forever. Some of them I know better now than I did when we saw each other everyday because we're not "playing nice." Everyone vents their frustrations, says what they wouldn't say if you were standing face to face with each other. You get to know the "real" side of them. Who they are when they're free from the constraints of trying to be what everyone else wants them to be. If they have a bad day or the greatest day ever they can state it and everyone encourages, supports, or comforts them. I find it fascinating. You can instantly chat with someone half way around the world while playing a game and eating your lunch. It's the height of multitasking. If you're not on Facebook yet then I pity you. You have no idea what you're missing. So go join now and add me to your friend list. Then you can be addicted just like me.

The Affair

My husband is cheating on me!

With a video game!

6 hours playing World of Warcraft?!?!?!?!?!

The man is obssessed!

Does anyone know if they have a support group for this?

The Joys of Christmas

1. One of the greatest things about my family getting together is that their Uncle Matthew gets to irritate them. Usually to the point that they cry and ask if we can go home. One day I'm sure they'll look back and laugh and say he's their favorite uncle. Or not.

2. With Steve's family it's just a barrel of laughs. And screams, hair pulling, fights over who gets the pink pony with butterflies on its butt, and whether or not they're going to watch Barbie's Christmas Carol or Barbie's Nutcracker. After we had Sara my sister-in-law refuses to have any more children. I can't imagine why.

3. I finally got our Christmas card picture. If you're wondering where yours is it's still at Wal-Mart waiting for me to pick it up and mail it. Hey, at least it's a picture card. When you do finally get yours you can always just lop off the Merry Christmas part and put it in a frame. I figure with the red outfits I'm good as long as I mail it before Valentines Day. What you don't see in this picture is the fact that it took about ten tries to get it. Sara was fascinated with Madison's bow and kept trying to grab it. I'm just glad they're all smiling. About 2 minutes after I took this they decided they had enough and rebelled. No. You will not be seeing those pictures due to their graphic nature. Well, Merry Christmas! I hope next year is way better than this one was!